Ah! Not So Enlightened Any more!

This is just this. This is as it is, simply, obviously; literally.

Just because you are seeing 'This' does not mean that your experience necessarily stays blissful and open. 'This' is free to arise as whatever experience it chooses.

It, has no preference. 'You' do.

Even after Awakening the mind can scream: 'It STILL shouldn't be like this. This feels too normal, where has the emptiness gone? The bliss? The specialness?'

The mind is very subtle. Very sneaky.

and suddenly you're agreeing....'Yeah! Where has it gone?'

We become limited again when we fixate on the special feelings or experiences and prefer them to feeling stressed, angry, upset or bored.

We forget that 'This' has nothing to do with us.

There is only Thisness flowering. Every petal is worthy.

Drop your concepts, throw away your spiritual jargon.

There is only This,

...and This is all.

Just More Fuel....

You have nothing.

Not even realisation.

Watch It burn....

Mute

Realisation rots away,

Nothing left

But this ordinariness.

No Attainment

Realisation

Burning up,

Realisation.

Bad News: It's Nothing Special

First you loose your self,

Then you loose even that.

This is how one becomes

Ordinary.

You're So Ordinary!

Thisness is the freedom for infinity to appear so utterly ordinary and mundane as to go completely unnoticed.

Thing

Nothing,"Thinging" itself, to "know" itself.

Am

Thissing in the wind...

Thisisms

All-being thinging me-you

*

Seeing-being,

Me-ing.

*

I is-ing all-being.

*

Thisness Am,

Me-ing.

*

Me am this all.

*

I, Amming this me.

*

Me-be,

Amming.

*

All-am,

Happening happening.

*

Me-ing this,

Thussing all.

*

Spaceness,

Me-ing being

Now.

*

This-that Am,

I is.

*

Am is

- Happening.

*

Open Am Is.

*

This,

Ising thinging.

*

Me-is,

Flowing-knowing,

As.

*

Openess,

Seeing-being

Is.

*

Open being

Do, As, Is.

*

Thisness

As-is,

Shining.

*

This,

Amming me.

*

All-being

Being-all.

*

This,

Me-ing you.

*

This Thissing Thus.

*

This Am,

As.

*

Am happening,

Is.

*

Opening Now,

This Am.

*

Am is

- Spacious.

*

Being, Amming.

*

All-ness Am,

I-ing Me.

*

Is Am I.

*

I-ness,

Spacious Am.

*

Fullness is,

Amming all.

*

Being Am

Is all.

*

Cup-Am,

Is-ing Me.

*

I seeing,

Am thissing.

*

Is Am As.

*

Life-ing,

Happening,

Is.

*

Being-seeing

Doing - Who-ing?

*

Am,

Perceiving

Amness.

*

All this is,

Everything Am.

*

Silent space,

Amming I.

*

As is All Am.

*

Am,

Shining as all,

Now.

*

Empty Am,

Thissing all.

*

This Am

Is-ing all.

*

Loving being doing is.

*

This is

As I.

*

I am

As Is.

!

This!

No Names!

See!

Kali

Awareness is both the lover and executioner of all forms

One

Sitting in Zen,

Head, pumps out

Birdsong.

Concept-Consciousness

A concept is a lens through which Awareness becomes conscious of itself by objectifying itself. The duality this produces and the original unity it springs from are both, simultaneously, true.

Maxim

You are what you do not have to remember to be.

Ripple

Early morning Zen,

Nana, coughs

From void.

Natural State

Lone Heron,

Perched on the rocks,

In Zen.

Feast

Don't get caught in any particular expression or flavour of seeing 'this'.

Life is a shifting flux of flavours and qualities.

Sometimes it appears to be complete fullness, love and bliss, or a heart-wrenching compassion. Sometimes it's just emptiness and silent aloofness.

Sometimes it is the thought that 'I am Enlightened' or 'I have the answer and can tell others about it', other times it is a total disinterest in thinking or talking about 'this'.

Sometimes it can be an almost fervent desire to communicate and share this with others, to scream it from the rooftops. Sometimes, not to be able to share this is a cruel loneliness.

Sometimes it's the impossibility of ever understanding this; a kind of lostness or confusion, which happens to no-body. Other times it may appear that there is someone there to be confused.

There are many experiences arising and passing endlessly.

But they cannot catch you. They will not cut you. Their blades are blunt.

They come and go in awareness as awareness.

It is this play of spices which gives life its profound and unique flavour. And...you are only ever tasting yourself. So enjoy the feast. Eat well and drink well.

The banquet is just for you.

You Are Un-likeable!

With words we can say that 'This' is like fullness. We can say that it is also like emptiness. Or perhaps it's more like bliss? Or maybe all three together, or maybe none of these things.

What is it like?

This is the question we want to know. Then we can compare it, understand it, move towards it. But saying it is like anything is to kill it. This is not like anything but itself. It is not like anything because it simply is everything.

It is not like a table. It is the table. It is not like the clouds. It is the clouds.

It is every detail you perceive because those details are known in your awareness as awareness.

It is everything which happens exactly as it happens. And what happens is not like anything, it is only itself. It is unique.

To compare it is to kill it.

So fall in love with This. Fall in love with experience moment by moment. No gap, no separation, no need for a label, no need to understand. Just rest in undeniable this-ness.

Adore the uniqueness of life,

It's what you are.

Do It Yourself

To try and describe this is to kill it. To limit and imprison it. To incarcerate it in a word. It's also a way of duping you. Believing the words we attempt to nourish ourselves on dust and bones.

Don't fool yourself. Don't listen to me, to my words, to anyone's words. There is nothing outside of yourself to search for. No 'other' you must 'get'.

These words are only your words. They are your own spontaneous awareness. They are you.

I cannot and will never be able to point to anything other than yourself. For all is you. I don't want to rob yourself of resting in yourself, of being yourself. I don't want to add to the propagation of the idea that there is a separate 'you' which needs to find 'Enlightenment'.

Recently I haven't wanted to write anything at all. This is just this. It doesn't need to be constantly interpreted through concepts. I don't need to understand it. When I don't want to understand it I don't want to write about it.

So what is this 'This' ?

It is the muddled conversation of everyone around me, the Music coming through the speakers, the man outside in a white hat passing the estate agents with his shopping, the newspaper on my table, the smell of my coffee, the hissing sound of the steam-arm, the sensation of gripping this pen and the words it produces, the vague unformed idea of what to do next...

It is all of this.

It is everything which arises without exception. All and always.

But don't believe me, don't believe anyone.

Be brave. Be your own authority. Be your own 'All'.

With Love x